


everyone's lost (the battle's won)

by iskra (kiira)



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, oh right kirsch has a first name i forget that a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 11:52:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2691971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiira/pseuds/iskra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>there is too much death for what should be the best years of your life</p>
            </blockquote>





	everyone's lost (the battle's won)

(Everyone’s quiet as you leave the room; Perry stayed behind, Betty awkwardly perched on the edge of a chair, Laura bundled in her bed.)

Natalie moves closer to Elsie and LaFontaine walks into their room and you feel suddenly, quite perfectly alone (and how did you not see it as a suicide mission, you can still taste her words _tell Laura I love her and that she saved me_ on your tongue and they’re horribly bitter; you could have saved her; her death is on your head and tears prick in your eyes.)

“Woah, Danny-girl. You gotta open the door before you walk through it,” and Kirsch elbows in front of you and pulls the door open (you had lost the rest of your rag-tag group somewhere along the way and it’s just you and Kirsch) (he looks lost and you reach down and grab his hand; there is too much death for what should be the best years of your life.)

“Could you–” and your voice breaks and you _hate_ it because you’re a fucking warrior (you are twenty two years old and you brought Carmilla to her death; you are twenty two years old and you can wield a sword as easily as a lacrosse stick and what is wrong with this picture?) “Could you walk me to my dorm?”

And Kirsch looks surprised; (you are fearless; you are terrified) but he nods. “Yeah, no problem.”  
(He doesn’t want to be alone either.)

(You watched as Carmilla was devoured in the light; you are terrified of being devoured in darkness.)

The walk is short and the air is cold. (Kirsch doesn’t let go of your hand). He slows as you approach the Summer Society house and (Kirsch doesn’t let go of your hand).

“I’m sorry,” you say, “about Will, I mean,” and Kirsch shakes his head.

“He was like, totally not a Zeta bro at the end. Or any of the time, actually,” and you manage a gurgling laugh (there is nothing funny about any of this; you bite your tongue to keep from crying).

“I’m sorry about Carmilla,” (Kirsch doesn’t let go of your hand).

“I hated her,” you whisper, because you shall not speak ill of the dead, “I hated her and she was a hero in the end. I think,” and you are not sure if you’re still speaking, “I think she knew she was going to die,” and that’s what breaks you (it’s your fault, she was your soldier and you led her to death) and Kirsch holds you with his good arm.

(He’s crying too.)

And you stand like that, in the cold for what could be hours (he kisses your forehead and there’s something dreamlike about the cold and the night and Kirsch’s arm around you.)

He kisses your forehead, and you shift so you’re kissing him (and some part of you burns to be kissing, to be happy so soon after bloodshed) and his lips are warm, warm, warm.

“We’re gonna be okay, right Danny-girl?”

“Yeah.” (eventually, you whisper into his mouth, and you think some part of him hears; all of him knows.)

(Kirsch doesn’t let go of your hand.)

**Author's Note:**

> bi danny is incredibly important to me & i also don't know how to write boys so sorry & im not sure how to write danny so this is probs just a train wreck tbh


End file.
